Something happened the other day that made me angry (shocking, I know). It was one of those moments when anger is futile and a waste of time, but we all know futility is much easier to recognize when it’s someone else’s problem. Here’s the weird thing about what happened in this instance; the anger did not manifest in its usual way. I felt the ire taking root in the pit of my stomach and I felt my blood start to boil. I felt these things start. I acknowledged that they were happening, and that futile or not they were my feelings, and then I took a really deep breath and sighed it out. And the anger melted. It didn’t go away, exactly, it just cooled. It cooled rapidly, and it cooled to the point that I was able to take a step back and see the situation from an entirely new perspective. And when I realized that all of this was happening, I stopped dead in my tracks and thought, “whoa. Where did that sane and adult reaction come from?”

Fast forward to Wednesday, when I finished my 30 Day Yoga Journey, and the answer dawned on me. Adriene. More specifically, Yoga with Adriene.

Allow me to enlighten.

I did not love yoga the first time I tried it. I attended what was supposed to be a beginner level class, in a cramped L.A. studio, with an instructor who did not fully grasp the concept of “beginner.” It moved too quickly and there were too many students for one instructor to properly assist, especially considering I was not the only one in the class who didn’t understand alignment, rotation, breath work, or how to use props. I left the class feeling like a complete moron, which is obviously not the point of yoga. I poo-pooed the notion of ever going back, feeling that yogis were largely pretentious ass hats. Thankfully, when I moved to Oakland, one of the first friends I made was a yoga enthusiast, and not a pretentious ass hat, and she turned me on to an instructor in town who was fabulous. My relationship to the practice was forever changed. Unfortunately, that instructor moved and it was a long time before I found a new one who made me feel as comfortable in a class setting. And then she moved.

As often happens, I fell out of practice, sporadically attending a class here and there or practicing at home, but never feeling the connection I felt when I had a proper instructor. That is until a random day a few months ago, when I felt a massive panic attack looming (I hate the looming – it’s like the soundtrack from Jaws is playing in the back of my mind). I thought I would try getting ahead of it and searched YouTube for a practice to address panic and anxiety. There were a few options that looked promising, but Adriene had a dog. Benji. If I’m being honest, I chose Adriene because of Benji, and I’m so wildly grateful that I made that choice (further proof that dogs should always be a part of the equation). It worked. I did not have that panic attack (I’m not “cured,” but it’s much better) and I have now been practicing consistently – damn near daily – for the better part of the last four months.

These four months, I am convinced, are at least part of the reason for the mostly sane and adult reaction to the aforementioned petty irritation. Because Adriene goes so far above and beyond, explaining the benefits of the poses for overall well-being, not just for getting in shape. She breaks down why they are beneficial to your body and your mind, always explaining the proper way to engage your muscles, align your body and draw energy (root to rise!) so that you feel confident and, more importantly, safe, practicing at home. Her channel has hundreds of practices (literally, she’s been doing this for a decade, I’m just late to the party), for ALL levels. There are workouts specifically tailored for beginners, short workouts, long workouts, meditations, breath work – you see where I’m going here. And it’s all for free. There is also a paid, ad-free app, Find What Feels Good, that is very reasonably priced, if you want to avoid ads and get some extra perks not available on the YouTube channel. But, like I said, there is plenty on the YouTube channel. Bonus: she curates a playlist every month so you really don’t even have to think about choosing a workout. If you’re not looking for something specific, she has something ready for you. I would highly recommend starting with one of her 30 Day Yoga Journeys, which do not have to be done in 30 days, or in January. Best to do them in order, however; each practice builds on the one before so the progress you make is noticeable. On many levels.

I thought about starting her February playlist, but I think I’ll start last year’s 30 Day Journey instead. This one made such a significant and positive impact, who knows where the next one might lead! Namaste, y’all.

Photo: Yannic Läderach on Unsplash